I can’t count the number of times I’ve felt anxious or afraid to share the Gospel with an unbeliever. I would get a lump in my throat, heart racing, and palms sweaty. But over time, through encouragement from YHWH’s Word and from others, I definitely feel less anxious in those situations than I did in years past. In particular, there’s a passage that I found really helpful, especially when I’m being asked about Christianity by someone who explicitly tells me that they’re opposed to it:

But even if you should suffer for righteousness’ sake, you will be blessed. Have no fear of them [those who actively oppose Christianity], nor be troubled, but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect, having a good conscience

- 1 Peter 3:14-16a

Being able to share the various reasons for the hope we have in the Gospel when someone asks us certainly takes effort on our parts, but we can also be emboldened by taking God’s Word at face value - when God tells us that even if we should suffer because we’re faithful followers of Jesus Christ, we can trust God that He will fulfill His promise to bless us. God is literally unable to lie; when God’s Word says something, it is reality, and thus we can trust it.

And to help alleviate the anxiety of “what should I say to the person?”, we have the gift of our personal testimonies, both our testimonies of salvation and of the ensuing works of God in our lives thereafter. Those verses in 1 Peter encourage us to be prepared always to provide an answer anytime that anyone asks us for a reason for the hope that we have in Christ. Notice it says, “anyone who asks you for a reason…”.

Different people will have different questions and have their respective objections to Jesus Christ. This passage instructs us with YHWH’s eternal wisdom to prepare ourselves to have a variety of thoughtful responses and winsome, respectful conversation-starters ready to give depending on the circumstances and on the background and context of the person who’s asking you, and our testimonies can be a powerful tool in those cases. We can share our stories of God with all of those different people, and in the process provide another reason for the hope that we have in Christ Jesus.

There’s an old adage that the more prepared a person is, the more probable is one’s success. There’s also the converse adage of “by failing to prepare, we are preparing to fail”. The more practice and preparation we invest in talking about our various stories of how we’ve seen and witnessed God in our lives and in the lives around us, the more comfortable we’ll be when those opportunities come our way, and the more familiar we’ll be with how those conversations often generally flow. And regardless of how the person asking responds to your story, it doesn’t change the fact that we get to experience the peace and satisfaction that we’re being faithful to what God entrusted us to do: sharing just one of the many reasons for the hope that Christ has given to us - namely Himself.

So as you enjoy these stories of YHWH shared by real people who have received the treasure of Jesus Christ, may it spur memories of your own stories of YHWH, and may YHWH bless you all over again!

In His Assured Hope,

Pastor Yung J. Kim

Transformed Through Surrender Again

by Ben Fu

But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

– 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

I was not raised in a Christian household and the vast majority of my friends were not believers growing up. Unknowingly, this left me with a God-sized hole in my heart that I had always looked to fill with something, anything, to give my life purpose and meaning. Growing up as an Asian kid in suburban Connecticut, it always felt like I had to go the extra mile to prove myself in order to be considered “cool” by the other kids. The “cool kids” around me were athletes and this led to me becoming obsessed with pursuing my own greatness in athletics, specifically in lacrosse. However, through a series of events, God had miraculously found me deep in my idolatry of self image and sports and saved me through His Word, giving me a new life in Christ. When I was saved, I remember one word that God kept speaking to me, which was “surrender”. It felt like I could finally let go of the weight of performance and self-glorification for my life to have meaning. It felt like true freedom.

But this story isn’t my story of how I came to faith. It’s a story of how my faith has been renewed.

Since then, I’ve struggled at times to shake that mentality of being an athlete and relying on sports to give my life meaning and purpose. Last year, I fell in love with a new sport–volleyball. So much so that most of the time it felt like volleyball brought me more identity and purpose than being a son of God. As a matter of fact, my faith went almost completely stagnant and as a result, I fell back into my old sin of idolatry and no longer desired Jesus like I once did. I hate to admit it, but deep down, God was no longer my source of joy and purpose in that season.

Earlier this year, I was playing volleyball when I was accidentally struck in the head with a ball, leaving me with a concussion that lingered much longer than I thought it would. At the time, I felt hopeless. I fell deep into depression. Weeks turned into months, which made me despair more and more. I just wanted to return to volleyball and my old active lifestyle. One night, in desperation, I prayed honestly about how hopeless I felt. God reminded me again of that same word–”surrender”. This time around, though, I struggled with it. I was too used to trying to fight my own way. I told him how difficult I thought it was going to be and He responded with “my yoke is easy and my burden is light”.

That night I chose to take Him at His Word. I surrendered my desires again and asked God to shape my future instead of clinging to my own vision. Immediately, the heaviness began to lift. My joy returned, not because circumstances changed right then and there, but because I found my meaning in Him again. It felt like freedom all over again, just like when He first found me.

Now, more than anything, I want my life to be a story that showcases God’s grace. That’s the only legacy I want to leave behind.

A Work in Progress

by Ron Halili

This past year of following Jesus Christ through Life-on-Life Missional Discipleship (LOLMD) has been one of the most refining and redemptive seasons of my walk with Christ. Looking back, I came into this group carrying the weight of past failures—mistakes I tried to bury, choices I thought disqualified me, and wounds I never fully brought into the light. I used to think that being a follower of Christ meant being put together. But slowly, through the vulnerability of others, I found the courage to share my own story.

What surprised me most was the strength that came from being honest. In opening up, I realized I wasn’t alone. My failures became a bridge—not a barrier—to deeper relationships. The men around me didn’t shrink away from my brokenness; they met me in it. That gave me a new glimpse into the heart of Jesus.

What humbled me even more was learning from the faith of younger men in the group. I thought age and experience meant I had more to offer, but God used their fresh trust and simple obedience to challenge my pride. Their questions, their zeal, and even their struggles reminded me to see the Gospel with fresh eyes. Despite different stages of life, we discovered common ground—through pain, through hope, and through a shared desire to grow.

Prayer became less about answers and more about presence. I had to learn to be patient, to believe that silence doesn’t mean abandonment. There were weeks I clung to a mustard seed of faith, barely enough to whisper a prayer. But God met me there. Slowly, in ways I didn’t expect, He reminded me that hope—even in small doses—is powerful when it’s placed in Him.

Most of all, I’ve learned it’s okay to be a work in progress. This group didn’t ask for perfection. It asked for honesty, humility, and a willingness to keep showing up. That’s discipleship—walking together toward Jesus, stumbling, growing, celebrating each other’s victories, and sitting together in the defeats.

I’m not where I want to be yet—but I’m not who I used to be. God’s grace is doing a slow, deep work in me. And for the first time in a long time, I’m okay with that.

Faith Beyond Familiar

by Justin Kim

I, like some people, have grown up in a church. My parents started to take me to Santa Rosa Presbyterian Church when I was 3 months old & not long after, had me infant baptized. When I turned 3 years old in 2006, my family & I moved down to San Jose, California and have started attending San Jose Young Nak Church where I would be at for the next 17 years of my life. In 2023, we moved to another church, this time to the Onnuri Church of San Jose.

During this time, specifically in the beginning of the year, I was going through a rough time in my life as I was going to college, working full-time, & training to get my flight pilot’s license. With the overburden of working & studying constantly, the exhaustion, & being depressed due to a recent car accident as well as not doing too good in school at the time, I felt like I was out of options. Despite going to church for basically all my life, the Gospel shared with me throughout all those years didn’t convey any meaning to me because I didn’t understand it. I thought at this time in life, where I was going through a difficult time was the only time I needed God.

Coincidentally, at around the same time, I met an old friend at school who explained to me how he started going to this other church and met this guy there who does Bible studies with people at my school to learn more about the Gospel. I participated in it for around 3 months, even attending one of the services as I still felt like I “needed him” at this time. I was a consumer of the church, hoping that I would benefit from it in some way. Long story short, the church was fake. The guy I was doing these Bible studies with, pointed out that because the church I attended at the time mostly consisted of Korean people, it’s a fake church because it didn’t include people of all nations. He said that if I don’t come to his church I will go to Hell. This left me confused & uncertain. I ended the Bible study sessions with the guy but from there, I’ve always questioned what’s real and not, and quite frankly, I had no idea.

This experience made me anxious and afraid to step outside my comfort zone, to explore other churches, which is why I stayed at my parents church for the next year and a half. Last year during the summer, my sister Lynn invited me to attend Revive Church, but I didn’t want to at first because of my previous experience, and I also didn’t like meeting and interacting with people of my age as I’ve always been slightly anti-social. Around the same time, I went up to Minnesota for 2 months to complete my flight training and get my private pilot license. I’ve never been away from home for that long and ultimately ended up achieving my goal, but also, I stepped outside of my comfort zone in the process. I believe that God led me through this path to explore new opportunities that I would’ve never taken alone. It’s almost as if he gave me a big boost of energy and motivation to take on new challenges and opportunities, to put in the work and effort towards my goals. I believe that he is calling me to go out and help people in any way I could as it is a desire of mine as well. So I have plans to help people through my career. Whether I mentor someone about staying motivated in flight training, helping a customer at my job not for the paycheck, but because I care for them, or literally helping people, saving lives as I am considering to become an aerial firefighter pilot, or an EMS pilot in the future.

Adversities will always pop up in life. Whether big or small, God will always have a plan around that not just for me, but for all of us. The lord works in mysterious ways. But his mission for me is to take risks & help people. This is why I’ve been attending Revive. This is why I believe in him.

Faith Made Bold

by Ashley Chin

When I was first asked to join a Life on Life Missional Discipleship (LOLMD) group, I was surprised and overwhelmed. I had just become a member of Revive a few days before, joined my first GLF group, and I was planning to get baptized the following month. These were all things I had been praying for, and I felt God was moving in my life, but it was happening faster than expected. I also would be joining the group a couple weeks after the first meeting and would have to catch up on the assignments. At first I was hesitant to take on the time commitment and I also felt like I wasn’t spiritually mature enough to be worthy of being in the group. I selfishly wanted God to move according to my timeline. Despite all of my worries, Gina Har saw that I was hungry for the Lord and was eager to grow in my faith. I decided to say yes and trust God would be with me through the process.

During the first meeting, I was so blessed by everyone’s testimonies and willingness to share. This helped set a tone of vulnerability and openness during our meetings. I was able to feel comfortable sharing things of my past I wasn’t proud of without being anxious of anyone’s judgment. God provided a space for me and my sisters in Christ to ask questions, share what’s on our mind, and request prayer. I appreciated having women in my group that had different experiences and were at different stages of life. Through our weekly supplication, I was able to see how God was moving in my life and my group members’ lives. Together, we would praise God when our prayers were answered and could also cry together when they weren’t answered the way we expected. I was able to see how God works in all situations.

Through LOLMD, my understanding of what it means to be a follower of Christ deepened. Previously, I had never spent much time considering my responsibility to be missional, God’s meaning in suffering, or how to discipline children, but each section we went through revealed to me something about God’s love. The area I saw the most growth in my life was God giving me strength to be more bold in sharing my faith with others. After my year of LOLMD, I felt more comfortable sharing God’s love with my non-christian friends, family members, and coworkers about Christianity. For the first time, I started inviting people to come with me to church. Last year, I don’t think all my co-workers knew I went to church, but now during our lunch breaks I often tell them about all the things Revive is doing and have asked a few co-workers if they would like to come. Before, my relationship with Jesus was something that I tried to keep private and found it difficult to talk about. Now I am more open to sharing my faith with others and I hope that everyone I know experiences the joy of knowing Jesus.

Grace in the Ruins

by Tae Lim

I was born in South Korea and immigrated to the United States at a young age. Before we moved, my parents made two covenants before God: that my dad would become a pastor and that our family would serve God through worship.

When I was in middle school, I accepted Christ at a retreat, my dad became a pastor, and my family left the home church I was raised in. From then on, we served as a family worship team helping to serve and support at least seven different church plants.

Every week, I played piano, sat through sermons I barely understood, and waited long hours for my parents to finish fellowship before going home. As a result of this covenant, I had no friends, peers, or mentors growing up in the church and I performed every week with bitterness and resentment towards my parents.

In college, I was finally free. I was excited by the prospect of befriending Christian peers and joyfully met fellow believers, broke bread together, and lived together, but I also became involved with an Asian fraternity. Once I became a member, I believed I could live a double life upholding Christian values while being a light in Asian Greek.

Over the passage of years, I drifted—so gradually that I was unaware that the narrow path had slipped beneath my feet long ago. I knew how to speak and act like a Chrstian and I was so good at this that I had deceived even myself. I performed good deeds when people were watching and even when they weren’t. I invited people to church and retreats. All this to feel self-justified while being blind to the fact I was applying band-aids to tumors forming in my heart.

There were two pivotal moments that made me finally realize my state of total depravity. The first was when I felt convicted from prayer and sensed a clear call to foster unity among my ministry classmates. I offered to take the lead to organize weekly fellowships and brothers and sisters graciously offered their hand. For whatever the reason-excuses, busyness, laziness- I never followed through. This failure shackled me with shame and guilt and I felt like I couldn’t face them or attend the church again.

The second was when I was dating a Christian. Long story short, it came crashing down when we went to a rave and she took drugs that I had offered. I still remember the shock on her friend’s faces who thought she would never do such a thing and I realized that the influences the world had on me were now being passed on to others.

I saw my reflection in the mirror and didn’t recognize the person staring back. I asked myself–Do I believe in the truths of Christianity? I didn’t. I wasn’t a Christian. This realization devastated me. I no longer knew who I was, what I believed in, or what my principles were. Combined with a looming graduation and uncertain future, I fell into despair. I mourned the youth that had died, and the only hope I clung to was the blank slate before me—a chance to rebuild my life on a foundation of my choosing.

So I began to rebuild myself by laying down bricks of ambition, pride, comfort, stoicism, wealth, status, fitness, hedonism, and worldly pleasures to numb the pain of nihilism, shame, and insecurity.

There was a popular phrase at the time. “Work hard, play hard” and I did so with some level of success. This deepened my confidence in my identity and one day, I decided to pursue a career change into software. The grind of weeks turned into months and months turned into years of walking through an unending desert where every step only brought further uncertainty, misfortune, and unmet expectations.

There was a connection I had from college that was doing her residency in medicine. She was loved by many friends made through her adventurous spirit bouldering, marathons, salsa dancing. In stark contrast to where I was in life, she seemed to have everything while I had nothing… So I didn’t understand why she made the decision to pass from this life on her own terms.

The inescapable reality of mortality hit me and I began seeking truth. I started with this: one day, I too will die. I relinquished a piece of my pride and for the first time in 7 years, I prayed to a God I no longer believed in. I began seeking for truth.

I was randomly approached at a gym and was asked if I wanted to be part of a weekly bible study. I knew with certainty that I didn’t want to believe in something I didn’t believe in and had discussions with a hardened, doubting, and argumentative heart. He invited me to his church and I rejected the invitation. We parted ways, and I continued to wrestle with God.

On one fateful evening, I prayed—and the Holy Spirit completely took over me. I felt the need to surrender everything to Jesus Christ: my hopes and dreams, my future and career, my past and identity… I obeyed.

The Tower of Babel I built in my heart—crafted from the wisdom of this world was demolished and replaced with a holy cornerstone, upon which I can build a new foundation.

I thought I deserved things. I realized I deserve nothing. I thought I was better than others. I realized I am the least among everyone. I thought my worth came from what I do and achieve. I realized my worth isn’t defined by the world or even by myself because I have been bought with a price and have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer Tae Lim who lives, but Christ who lives in me. I was left with an overwhelming sense of peace along with absolute conviction that my life is now in God’s hands.

As a direct result of offering my career and future to God, I believe he rewarded my faith and blessed me with a fulfilling job immediately afterwards. From then on, I’ve been placed on a journey of restoration and sanctification and God has been overflowing my cup. This journey led me back to this building here at Trinity. In my youth, I played piano for my dad’s church plant in this building. I never would’ve imagined I would be back here with the opportunity to love and be loved, to serve and be served, and to be renewed from the emptiness I felt in this building long ago. For this, I am forever grateful to God and to every member here who is filling it with life and spirit.

Equipped by Grace

by Danny Serna

This year has been amazing. God has been showing up in so many parts of my life. I feel so blessed to be walking with Jesus Christ daily. I wanted to share a few ways that the LORD has shown up in my life. The first thing I am grateful for is the brotherhood in my discipleship group that GOD has brought into my life. Growing up I didn’t have that many people I could count on so I would do a lot of things myself because of that. This brotherhood has brought me so much joy because GOD has blessed me with brothers in Christ who I know will be there for me no matter what. I feel like we have created a bond that cannot be broken. To have men in my life that I can talk to and walk with is something that GOD has blessed me with.

During this year my mother got very sick and had to be hospitalized for quite awhile. This is a very stressful situation, and I was not immune to it. I remember being overwhelmed mentally and the reason for that was because I wasn’t going to GOD with everything that was going on. I was leaning on myself, my energy, and my wisdom to make everything happen. This resulted in me crashing out and feeling really overwhelmed. The minute I prayed to GOD and left it all to him no matter the result I started to feel much better. My mother got better and now has made a full recovery. Being a disciple of Jesus and following Him has equipped me for situations like this when before I would call upon myself, I now call upon the LORD for guidance. I owe this all to the discipleship training.

This year GOD has also continued his peace in my marriage and family. Martha and I are getting closer to GOD and the results can been seen in our marriage and relationship with our daughter. We see her getting closer to GOD and we pray that GOD continues to work in our lives and in Sophia’s as well. There are so many things that I have learned through these 4 years of being in my discipleship group. The main thing for me is learning how to become a deeper follower of Christ. Jesus has changed my life and has left me with new brothers, tools for life, and most of all a sincere faith that GOD is with me and will never leave my side.

Refined by Reflection

by Eric Tam

This year was my first year with my discipleship group, and as we followed Jesus together, the supportive and close-knit environment of fellow husbands and fathers have been an incredible blessing through the year.

Through this year of discipleship, I believe God, time and time again, brought a mirror out to help me stare into my own reflection. He asked “will you trust and follow me?” in so many aspects of my life.

God would be honest and direct with his questions, yet provide love and grace in the form of my brothers who would sit together with me in prayer.

I think I still wrestle with many questions in my mind. For example, what does it look like to lead your sons in a Christ-centered fashion vs trying to chase my own personal desires of what success would look like for my sons. I feel the nudge of the Holy Spirit inside on moving a long. But my selfish self does not want to let go.

So I see YHWH as a gentle father this year. Reminding me about what I’m grasping onto so hard with my own hands, well it’s not really good for me. In turn, he extends his gentle hand, stretched out, asking me to let the thing go and take his instead.

From Duty to Delight

by Walter Han

This marks my third full year of participating in Life on Life Missional Discipleship (LOLMD). At first, LOLMD felt like just another activity layered on top of all the responsibilities of daily life.

During my first year, my daughter Alice was born, and I often felt like I was barely making it to the end of the year—scrambling to complete assignments, memorize “heart verses”, and carry out “Missional” tasks. It was a struggle, and LOLMD felt like one more thing added to an already full schedule, especially as a new parent.

Even in my second year, I still felt the weight of responsibility. There were tasks I needed to complete, and LOLMD often felt like another item on my check list. But slowly, something started to change. I began to feel more refreshed after each session. I started to see how essential God’s Word and the relationships I was building with my Christian brothers were to my life. It was a bit like exercise: the first five minutes were hard, and I didn’t always look forward to it, but then I would always come out of it feeling spiritually recharged and closer to God.

As I entered my third year, something deeper shifted. I found myself truly wanting to know God more. I desired to read His Word—not out of obligation, but out of genuine desire. I longed to see His kingdom grow, and I wanted to be part of His plan to bring His kingdom into the world. Maybe it was also God’s timing that our church experienced significant growth this year. I felt inspired by the baptisms, by the new believers coming to faith, and by the families we’ve gotten to share God’s love with. Now that our children are old enough to begin understanding the truths we’re teaching, we’ve started incorporating more regular family worship into our routine. It’s been a blessing to begin passing on to the next generation all that we’ve received from Jesus Christ. As a result of LOLMD, I’m hopeful that I can lead my family to become more missional and centered on God.

Peace in the Uncertain

by Grace S. Park

As I reflected back on the past year, I realized how deeply I

experienced God through a season of big life decisions like thinking about graduate school and marriage. These decisions were not easy decisions that I could just make on my own, and I felt the weight of

uncertainty and pressure. But in those moments, I was reminded to make every decision in prayer and to bring everything, my fears and

worries, to God.

The Lord gifted me with this verse:

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

- Philippians 4:6

This verse became a source of encouragement because it reminded me that peace doesn’t come from having everything figured out, but by bringing it all to God and trusting Him with it all.

One way I experienced this peace was through prayer with my GLF. Their support and prayers helped me feel encouraged, and it allowed me to let go of anxious feelings.

Being able to share our lives and pray together each week reminds me that I’m not walking through these decisions alone, which makes me feel closer to God in greater dependence. The more I open up to Him and others, the more I realize how much I need Him and how faithful He is.

Season of Thankfulness

by Walter Park

Throughout 2025, I got to experience a season of being thankful. Everything I did throughout this year felt like God was constantly answering my prayers. Starting from finding a job at Boba Drive and being able to serve on the Young Adult Activities Team. I got to see the young adults really grow inside the church. It grew to the point where people hosting them at their houses after service pretty much became impossible. I also got to experience the growth of the YAAT ministry, continually serving passionately even after I ended up passing on my role. The young adults community just continued to grow while everyone was getting along with each other.

Later in the summer, I got an opportunity to land a full-time job, for which I have worked for almost 10 months. Right before I started working, we went on our summer retreat and got to soak in the sermons, where the pastor talked about seasons. The sermon about being thankful stood out to me. I felt really confused about how I should be feeling, but in that sermon, God once again answered my question: “You don’t need to feel anything, just be thankful to God and rejoice”.

After a few months of working, I got the opportunity to join a Life on Life Missional Discipleship group, which is an intensive discipleship training group. At first, I was a bit hesitant, but soon I began to realize that I had no reason to decline it this year, so I took that step of faith and decided to join. During the time of LOLMD, I got to reread Bible passages and refresh my memory on certain pathways we should be taking as followers of Jesus Christ.

However, the extra step that helped me to keep on continuing was being in a group of all life stages, married, dating, and single. I got to enjoy the conversations and see other people’s perspectives on certain topics.

On top of LOLMD, this has been the most consistent I have been with spending personal time with God by reading the Bible and praying, and it has helped me grow in the Bible. Although things have been getting slightly rough within my relatives, everything has still been very good and God has provided and blessed me, so I can only be thankful and trust in God that everything will end up in the right place

Transformed, Not Conformed

by Jun Lim

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.

- Romans 12:2

Going into my 2nd year of following Jesus Christ in Life on Life Missional Discipleship (LOLMD) and kickstarting my career in teaching this year, it has been a season full of learning and trusting in God. Stepping into a career as a teacher this year, there were many opportunities of growth and hardship. As a first year teacher, I was able to find things that work best for me and build routines that would benefit me for years to come. There were many ups and downs but one challenge I found myself struggling with was having the mindset of living for the world. I became very consumed by a performance mindset of following the expectations and the validation of others. This blinded my mindset and judgment when it came to work as I became very fixated on the worldly things like finances and being successful. It made me lose my sense of purpose and why I went into the field of teaching which is to love God’s children and be a vessel in a public school.

It wasn’t until we were going through the lesson on “Sanctification” in LOLMD when I was reminded of how we should not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewal of our mind. That unit and period of time overlapped and became very clear that God was speaking to me. He was speaking to me about how I could glorify Him through my work and that my purpose as a teacher is not based on the judgment and expectation of others but God’s alone.

Through it all, I learned to seek God’s word for comfort and build habits that drew me closer wanting to spend time with God. Without God, this season of life would have been very difficult and I probably would have left the field of teaching. But I am very grateful to have gone through these hardships because it deepened my identity and confidence in Christ. It opened my eyes to see how I could be a vessel for Christ reaching his children who come from so many different family backgrounds.

The opportunity for me to show God’s love through my words, actions, and the relationships built with the students who might not have an adult to look up became so evident after coming across Romans 12:2 and Sanctification. It was also through the words of a co-worker, who is a fellow believer, that reminded me of how each day is an opportunity for us to serve God’s kingdom. From that moment on, it changed my perspective on how I was going to approach my job and reminded me of what my purpose is as a teacher. There will always be judgment and the opinions of others, but the only one that truly matters is from God. Not to live by the world, but to live building up our treasures in Heaven and discern the will of God by honoring and glorifying Him.

Verses Through the Seasons

by Damon Moon

One of the coolest things about faith is that we have verses that we hold on to in that season of life. It’s like a fragrance that brings back memories.

Some verses come from memory verses at Life on Life Missional Discipleship, others come from Daily Verses from YouVersion, and maybe others come from verses I discovered as I am reading the Bible.

In 2020, it was the parable of talents from Matthew 25:14-30. After reading that passage, I felt I was living like the servant with one talent, hiding them because I was in fear. Romans 5:3-5, on verses about suffering, endurance, character and hope, were the verses I held on to in 2021.

This year, it started with Isaiah 43:19. It was one of the daily verses from YouVersion. A couple of days later when I met a Christian entrepreneur from Korea in January, he also told me that he’s been meditating on that verse for this year.

Behold, I am doing a new thing;

now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?

I will make a way in the wilderness

and rivers in the desert.

- Isaiah 43:19

God is always doing a new thing. He is doing new things in the world, and certainly in my life. The problem is that I often don’t perceive it. He is someone who can make a way in the wilderness, and rivers in the desert.

More recently, I read Luke 16, the parable about the dishonest manager. I was shocked when Jesus himself tells his disciples how the rich man commended the dishonest manager, who wasted his possessions, reduced debt without the approval of the master, for his shrewdness. I recognize the relational part, but I focused more on the actions the manager took when he started to perceive what will happen to him.

It felt like God was telling me to see how the world is changing, and how I should take action, show humility, and especially talk to people I worked with and known for many years.

Maybe this is what it means to live with Christ, through His word. I love how His word and our lives intertwine with the Bible verses throughout our lives as we go up and down the spiritual journey.

From Guilt to Grace

by Kevin Trieu

Hi Everyone, my name is Kevin and I wanted to start off by thank you all for listening to my testimony today but also thank you all for inviting me to Revive. Coming to Revive has really allowed me to feel the energy of the Holy Spirit, and witness first hand the power and compassion of God’s people. I am so grateful for all of you, and I hope you’ll find some inspiration from my testimony today.

I’ll start from the beginning. I grew up in a non-Christian household, with very little exposure to any faith. When I was young, my mother’s best friend tried to bring my mother and me to church, but my father, a self-proclaimed Buddhist but honestly acts more like an atheist, strongly opposed it. This conflict created skepticism and fear in me regarding Christianity. In high school, my best friend, Daniel, who’s here today, invited me to church. I was curious, and I learned about Christianity, but I wasn’t a believer. To me, Christianity felt like a chapter in a history book, something distant and impersonal. After high school, I lost any connection I had to the faith.

Life before finding faith in Jesus was full of anxiety, greed, and a constant lack of purpose. Growing up, money was always tight, and it defined much of my identity and worldview. Every aspect of my life, from what I ate to where I studied, was shaped by what we could afford. My parents often argued about money, which led me to place my self-worth in financial security and success. I felt intense pressure to earn and provide for my family, to the point where I woke up every day feeling overwhelmed by anxiety and a need to make more. My focus on money and constant worry drove me to a deeply unhappy, purposeless life, and I turned to excessive drinking and a hedonistic lifestyle to fill the void. Because that’s what we often see in young people today. Work hard play hard, and act like “you only live once” which I know is now so deeply misguided. My lifestyle eventually led to my lowest point: after a night of heavy drinking, I attempted to drive home and was arrested for a DUI. I was crushed with guilt, anxiety, and an overwhelming sense of failure. Never in my life had I ever thought I would be arrested, and that night in jail, I felt lost and ashamed.

But then something miraculous happened. During that night, I had a dream where Jesus appeared to me and spoke to me. I was deeply confused, for Jesus was the last thing on my mind that night, and to be frank, and no mean disrespect, at that point in my life, I simply didn’t care about Jesus, I didn’t know him, or even believe in him. But when I woke up from that dream, I felt an indescribable peace, unlike anything I had known. When I woke up, the weight of my guilt and anxiety was lifted, and I felt light and free. For the first time, I felt that Jesus was real and present. This encounter inspired me to learn more about God and seek a new relationship with Him.

After that experience, I desperately wanted to learn more about Jesus Christ. Although some of my skepticism still existed, the dream and the peace I felt is something I just couldn’t shake off. I am deeply grateful to God bringing people like Daniel, Mackenzie, and Rachel, who brought me to Revive and encouraged me to pursue my faith. I am deeply grateful for the people and community here, who have made me feel like I belong. Through Revive, I’ve been able to witness the power of God in church and community, and I’ve seen how He works through people. At Revive I also met Pastor SooSang who helped me understand my feelings and doubts and confirm my faith in Jesus Christ. Since becoming saved, my life has been transformed. I now see my life as something to live not for myself, for man, or for money, but for God. I view Him as a loving parent, someone I dearly love and respect, and who I would never want to disappoint. Greed and success is no longer my focus; instead, I look to God for strength and my purpose. Each morning, when I feel that familiar anxiety and greed, I pray, and in those moments, I feel His strength and courage. Prayer brings me peace—it feels like a weight is lifted off my shoulders, colors are brighter, and the world is a more positive and loving place. When I face trouble I turn to God for support, and He always brings me comfort.

I’m overwhelmed with gratitude for Christ, who loved me so deeply even when I had strayed far from Him. At my darkest moment, when I had pushed Him completely out of my mind, He still came to me, offering love and grace. Every day I feel unworthy, I’m sure we all do, why does God love me, someone who lives such a greedy and selfish life? Because of grace, the grace of God through Jesus Christ, His Son.

My new perspective on life has given me peace through God’s word. Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

This verse has helped me release the resentment and frustration I felt toward my father and others in my life. Though I don’t always see eye to eye with them, God has taught me empathy and forgiveness. I now seek God’s will, not the approval of others on social media or society. God has also taught me to be less judgmental, to see others with compassion rather than judgment—a reminder that we’re all human and that grace is for everyone.

Through my testimony, I hope you’ll see that God’s love can bring peace, purpose, and a new outlook on life. My journey has shown me that seeking God’s guidance can bring peace, even in life’s hardest moments. By letting go and putting our trust in Christ, we can be free from the pressures of the world. Finding our identity in Christ also frees us from the need for validation from others, free from likes on social media, from criticism from our bosses. God’s love is a foundation that remains steady regardless of others’ opinions. If you’re struggling, feeling lost, like I was, or simply just curious, I encourage you to reach out to Jesus Christ, talk to Him, confide in Him, share with him the good times and the bad. Start with prayer, even just a few words each morning, something that has helped me deeply in my life. Release the need to be perfect and remember that God loves you as you are, we are all unworthy and that’s ok. Faith gave me a new purpose, and I hope it brings you peace and purpose, as well. Thank you.

From Fear to Faith

by Jake Joseph

I was born and raised in a Christian household. The Bible was no stranger to me. I had grown up with the Bible stories. In these stories I mistakenly thought the good guys always won. But as I was about to find out that was not how the world worked. It was also not always black and white. Before I really became a Christian I was very carefree. I did not think about the consequences of my sin.

My wake up call came in 2019. It was the year Covid19 hit the world. I realized that I could die at any moment. It would be all over. I could go to sleep one day and not wake up the next. Once the pandemic ended I started dwelling on the concept of death. I also finally accepted that I was so sinful. Therefore when I died I was sure to go to hell. I also realized that we do the same thing over again. I would go to school, then college and do the same thing over and over again just to get a job and then do the same thing over and over in that job. It felt like I was stuck in a basketball game where I kept dribbling in circles, but the hoop was nowhere in sight. I searched for answers. My parents, youth leaders, and Sunday school teachers helped me in this journey. A verse I came across was 1 John 2:17: “And the world is passing away, and the desires of it, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” I realized nothing I accomplished matters after death, so I began to seek the one thing that goes on past death, God. I began reading the Bible and praying, seeking to understand who He really is. Through those moments of study and prayer, I found Him—not just as a concept, but as my Savior. With the guidance of my mentors, I came to see my sinfulness and God’s grace through Jesus’ sacrifice. In a quiet moment of reflection, I accepted Jesus as my Savior, trusting in His forgiveness and feeling the reality of His presence. I understood I wasn’t alone anymore; the Holy Spirit was with me, guiding me toward a life of purpose in glorifying God.

I saw changes. My temper wasn’t short. I didn’t mind helping people and I was trying to be the best possible me. It was like I’d traded my old playbook of turnovers and bad shots for a new game plan, running it back with God as my coach. After seeking, I finally found him and understood who God really is. I accepted him and understood that I am not alone in life. I understood that life wouldn’t be meaningless and bleak if I had the holy spirit by my side guiding me. I could glorify God and fulfill my purpose. I still struggle with my sins because the truth is I am not perfect. But one day when I die he will be there waiting for me with open arms.

From Friend to Best Friend Forever

by Christopher Har

A few years ago, when I was in elementary school, it was hard to for me make the right friends and be the right friend. I looked up to the kids above me, but they were already cussing, making profane jokes, and hurting others, including me. My friends my age had started to copy and act like them, and I wanted to just fit in with them, except I just never initiated yet. Until in 2nd grade, when I had professed my faith in Jesus, I was quickly bullied and tossed around. That was just it for me. And so, beginning 3rd grade, I started to make changes in how I acted and treated others, putting myself on a podium and pushing others below me. I grew habits just like the others, cursing, making profane jokes, and harming others. Practicing 6 hours a day at school, every day for half a year was enough for these habits to stick with me wherever I went. Just as I was starting to feel like I fit in, I switched to a Christian school halfway through the year. I had begun to a rough start, making not the greatest impressions to the people around me. Everyone was kind and more lighthearted, way different from my previous experience. I still thought that acting the way I did would make me popular, but it didn’t. It made me popular for the wrong reasons. There I was left alone trying to fit in with everybody else again. Covid quarantine hit just months after I joined my new school, and I guess I can say it was a time to reflect. But I don’t think I took advantage of it. I went in-person for 4th grade, half-a-year after I joined, though I saw no change, neither did anyone else. The same time it took me to develop the bad habits, wasn’t enough to change back. The way back up to Jesus is slow, but the way down away from Him is fast. My friends had so much grace on me, but I still couldn’t be the right friend for them. It led me to feel more distant and friendless then ever. I went on for another 2 years acting similar, but with some evident change. My scales hadn’t fully come off yet, but they were seemingly falling off one by one. The distance after such a long time almost made me feel helpless, because trying to improve took so long by myself. I thought, “Why is this process back up feeling so impossible?” I gave up and fell into depression.

My dad noticed and when we talked about it, I learned that Jesus Christ was the missing piece to my puzzle. He told me that giving my life to Jesus meant that I would live for him, and he would help me to do so. Trying to improve by yourself is a task that nobody could do. At least it just wouldn’t get you that far. Jesus is the true friend, that once I become friends with, by giving my life to Him, I would have the right person to try to copy and get help from. This was the start of my journey. I wish I could say I saw immediate change like the day after, except it wasn’t. Though I can say that the change was certainly faster and had gotten me farther than I had gone before. At this time, I was in a state of mind where I thought everything was good and life was truly meaningful, knowing I have Jesus as my friend, right next to me. Though, as time passed, I started to forget what and to whom I had professed to. I had stopped reading the bible, praying, even before meals, which is probably the first thing we’re taught in our relationship with God, starting at a young age, and stopped thinking about Him. And this was the beginning of my fall from God. Just after a few months after my profession, I had gone back to normal and lost all my progress, starting from the one day without God in it. Practicing or getting used to something always takes persistence, diligence, time, and effort. Then again, I had found myself hopeless and without God, and so I tried to come back to Him, beginning to pray again and read God’s word. This was a constant process of me going up for a little while, then falling away from Him in a matter of days. Like I said, the way back up to Jesus is slow, but the way down is fast.

I professed my faith in Jesus again and again, and I know for sure that after each of those times, there is a common result. I am instilled with peace, joy, security, and filled with His love. Also, there is a common result when I leave God. I am depressed, searching for hope, searching for recognition, and clueless in knowing my purpose. I know that devoting myself now, being confirmed isn’t the way I become everything I want to be just like that. I am telling you guys and myself that I am ready to embark on this journey, take responsibility, and do my best in pursuing God. But it is also a way that I can tell you guys so that I have accountability and help from the church to get where I need to be. After all the re-confessions of my faith, I am ready to say that I devote myself to God and to God alone. There’s no point in continuing to just say I believe in God without solidifying my faith and then saying I devote myself to God all my life. I’m just making myself stuck in one place, not allowing me to continue the race towards God. Without His gift of salvation through Jesus’ sacrifice, I wouldn’t be able to say that I am saved through Him. His power saved me from my sin, and I can always turn to Him in times of need, because it is through His death and resurrection that I can say ‘I am His.’ I realize now that just saying ‘I know God’ is not how I will ultimately become who I want to be. I’m only saying I know Jesus’ name, but I don’t really know him. This is a devotion to God, so that we grow in our relationship together, to become what God had intended for all of us to have with Him. The true father and son relationship. When I first professed my faith in Jesus in 2nd grade, I only knew him as my lower case “friend”. Devoting my life to Christ made us upper case “Friends”. And today, I can now know him as my “best friend forever”. Thank you.

Faith Beyond Feelings

by Olivia Lee

I was infant baptized by my grandfather, and for as long as I can remember, I’ve known about God and Jesus. I understood early on that salvation comes from accepting Jesus as my Lord and Savior, largely thanks to my grandparents who have always encouraged me to grow in my faith. I never doubted God’s existence or the truth of the Bible, however, my childhood involved quiet struggles that sometimes made me feel unworthy of love and questioned whether God really loved me. Part of those struggles involved living with a genetic condition no one else in my family had, and wearing a back brace for several years -- both of which made me feel the weight of being different and alone, when all I ever wanted was to be normal and fit in.

Growing up, I moved a few times, but for the most part I prayed every night, attended youth group, and went to church on Sundays. I never stopped believing in God, but trusting Him and deepening my relationship with Him was a challenge because of difficulties I experienced at home, at school, and at church.

When I started college, I joined a Christian organization and had a good first year. But when I transferred schools my second year, I went through one of the loneliest seasons of my life. I returned to my original school, but in my last 2 years of college I eventually stopped praying and going to church, except for Easter. I felt I had missed out on the “fun” college experience in my first 2 years and began falling into sin. I knew I was drifting away from God, but I didn’t think it was a problem because I didn’t think I was “that bad”. I convinced myself that just believing in Him was enough and didn’t see why living out my faith really mattered. That mindset continued after college. Looking back, there were many instances when I could’ve walked away from God. But when times were tough I always turned toward Him. I went to church, prayed for help, and sought comfort in community. But still, I felt like something was missing.

That’s when a good friend of mine reminded me that while it was encouraging to see that I was going to church and not turning to worldly things, I was neglecting a real relationship with God. I was trying to find healing through people instead of through Him. Her words opened my eyes and helped me begin to seek a more meaningful relationship with Him.

A few years ago I moved to the Bay Area, a decision I believe God intended to help me grow closer to Him and deepen my faith. While I still face quiet struggles and feel unworthy of love at times, I’ve come to realize it’s not about me -- it’s about God and His goodness. Regardless of the way I was born or the mistakes I’ve made, it doesn’t disqualify me from His love or grace. I recognize that I am a sinner and I am completely undeserving of His forgiveness, yet He still offers me the gift of salvation.

Recently, I worried that maybe I’ve been a fake Christian all my life because I never really had a strong emotional response to sin or the significance of the cross… I questioned whether my faith was real. But then I thought, could I really be that fake if I care this much? I know my desire to know and love God is genuine, even when I struggle with doubts. I’m learning that real faith isn’t about emotions, but about who I trust, and I trust Jesus.

God has truly blessed me with a family who loves me - both my biological family and my church family. Since I started attending Revive a year and a half ago, I’ve been reminded of His unfailing love, grace, and mercy… I want to keep trusting Jesus, growing in love for Him, and learning what it means to live as His disciple in this wonderful community at Revive.

Healing Love

by Kevin Rhee

When I began my first year at De Anza College last year, I was overwhelmed with anxiety and loneliness. School was less than 15 minutes from my house, yet everything felt unfamiliar, and my relationship with my family, especially my mom, was strained. At one point, the tension was so thick that my family even considered moving me into an apartment. But when my mom decided to take some time in South Korea, it became a turning point, a powerful testimony to how God heals even the deepest wounds. Through faith, patience, and intentional care, our bond was restored. I learned to listen to my mom with understanding and support her in small, yet meaningful, ways—from finding her therapy options to inviting her to Zumba classes. Most importantly, God opened my eyes to see that our relationship was worth fighting for. Slowly but surely, I was being taught that meaningful connections are built through love, persistence, and grace.

Alongside this, God was shaping my heart through my Gospel Life Family (GLF) group. I often thought I might feel judged for attending community college, especially in the competitive Bay Area, but no one ever made me feel ashamed of my educational path. Instead, they encouraged me to trust in God’s plan for me and to do my best. I realized that external things, such as a school’s status, no longer bothered me, because God’s love was more than enough. In my GLF group, I found a safe space to ask questions about my faith and was reminded of the truth in 1 John 4:19: “We love because He first loved us.”

I learned to surrender what I couldn’t control and to diligently work on what I could, trusting God with the rest. As a result, my relationships at church grew deeper, my connections with peers and teachers at school became more meaningful, and, most importantly, my relationship with my mom was renewed. This transformation wasn’t instant, but God was with me every step of the way, teaching me to walk in the Spirit. Today, my family spends more time together, and while we aren’t perfect, we are a living example of God’s faithfulness and healing love.

Undeserved Grace

by Nielsen Angrio

"Hi Nielsen, we thank you for your interest in a career at ... Unfortunately, we will not be moving forward with your candidacy for the position of …”

Before starting my day, I would read more than 10 such emails. The year was 2024, and I was job hunting for a position in the US. I only had a couple of months. If I didn’t get a job here, I would be coming back to my home country owing $100,000.00 to my uncle, who sponsored all my tuition and living costs while I studied here in the US. Is it possible to earn that much paycheck in my country? Possibly, but it would certainly take a lifetime. To make the situation worse, the state of the job market was horrible, especially in tech. Many new graduates were not getting hired, thousands of layoffs were happening across the tech industry, and the competition was only getting tighter and tighter. My resume also didn’t help much either. I had one internship at a small startup company and a few personal projects, which would certainly not be enough to compete with others having multiple internships or prior experience. I applied to hundreds of job applications every week, yet there are either only automated rejections or no response at all. As anxiety was looming, I felt like my prayer was not being answered.

One day, an interview invitation from a housing management company based in Florida came into my email. I felt encouraged and hopeful. I practiced hard for hours, hoping to pass the interview and make it into the final round, only to be ghosted at the end. Feeling disappointed, I eventually moved on. Another interview invitation came in from a startup company in Seattle. I prepared again and went through multiple rounds. I felt like I had good conversations with the founders, but I still ended up with another rejection as they moved forward with a better candidate. A similar pattern started to occur, applying for hundreds of job applications, getting an interview, and failing it. To make it worse, my family was putting more pressure and accused me of not taking them seriously. I felt more frustrated and angry as I felt like I was misunderstood.

The time was only a few months short. I started to look for an alternative path to extend my stay in the US. I learned that I could extend my stay in the US if I did voluntary work. Learning about this, I proposed to my church elders to work with the church voluntarily out of my desperation, just so I can stay longer. But then I was rebuked; I was being reckless and putting the church at great legal risk of this “loophole”. They implied I was outright being “evil”, as I was harming the church for my own benefit. On that night, I was desperately calling God for forgiveness and help as I felt like I was lost and a complete failure. With my church friends’ guidance, I looked for an honest alternative path to stay in the US.

A week later, God answered my prayer. A recruiter from Google suddenly reached out to me. He was reaching out to follow up on the interview I did a few weeks earlier. He called me and said, “You passed the interviews.” After all the interview ghosting, I was already getting so used to rejections, and I didn’t expect much from my Google interviews since they have one of the most competitive applicant pools. However, the story didn’t end there, as there are team-matching rounds before getting hired. This process could take months or even a year, which is definitely not fitting for my visa timeline. But God’s hand was already at work; I was matched with a team within a week and able to work on time before my visa expiration in a month, which is extraordinarily unusual and I would even say miraculous. It was baffling to me that God gave me this job that I don’t deserve at all. Yet it was still a gift to accept, just as his love that I don’t deserve. In retrospect, I see how God had worked in my job hunting process and how it also points back to the undeserving Christ’s love and forgiveness for me.

Held Fast by Grace

by Nielsen Angrio

I was not raised in a Christian family. Most of my family members were Buddhists, prayed to their ancestors, or were agnostic/atheist. So how did I end up here following Jesus? When I was 6 years old, my family and I moved to a new place. My parents surveyed the schools nearby and found 2 private schools. One was a Christian school, and the other was not. They let me pick, and I picked the Christian school for no particular reason.

This school was a part of a Chinese Methodist church. Christianity was part of its religious curriculum, so I learned some ideas and stories from the Bible. My mom would also always bring me to church on Sunday, as she would go to the general service while I went to the children’s service/Sunday school. I remember learning the cool Bible stories such as Daniel in the lion’s den, David vs Goliath, and Moses splitting the sea. But we stopped coming after 4 years, just because it started to feel like a meaningless routine to us back then. Fast forward to high school, one of my close friends invited me to come to church. I did not have much to do over the weekend, so I returned to the same church that I went to before. I kept coming for a while until one day, the church focused too much on attracting more people to come while losing the reason why they wanted to invite more people in the first place. I became less motivated to come. After that, I hardened my heart even more than ever and became cynical about Christianity. However, I still believed that there is a Creator of the world.

Transitioning to college, I felt like I knew everything I had to know about my life. I thought that I could just be “morally” right in this world and be happy in my life. However, I ended up breaking a lot of relationships with my family & close friends. To make it even worse, just before I traveled abroad to the US and left my parents behind, I somehow still had a fight with them. Most of my college life was full of selfishness, and I didn’t have a lot of friends. I also tried going to an Indonesian church, but I didn’t even bother to make meaningful relationships or even hang out with people. Instead, I would spend time alone, browsing online, playing video games, or even worse, watching porn. I thought I was being happy, but what actually ended up happening is this endless pursuit of self-gratification. I felt lonely & depressed all the time. Then I would think to myself, “What could I have done better anyway?” It turned into this vicious cycle.

As I was preparing to transfer to a 4-year university, I needed help seeking an internship, so I was looking around to make connections. I remembered a friend of mine going to an Indonesian church that had many software engineers. So I thought I could come to this church and perhaps find something out of it. When I joined the service for the first time, nothing particularly struck me during the sermon or even the service; however, what surprised me was what happened afterward. It was a sunny spring day so everyone gathered at a park nearby. Everyone, including kids to older folks, was gathering, talking, & playing with each other despite coming from different places, and they were not even blood-related. I felt an overwhelmingly loving atmosphere. It was nothing like anything that I had seen before. I was in disbelief that I asked one of the church members, “How could everyone be this close despite coming from different backgrounds? Many are not even relatives!”. She replied, “We are gathered here because we are a part of Christ’s family”. At this moment, I was astounded and started to doubt my cynical view of Christianity.

From that day, with the guidance of the Holy Spirit, I started coming to that church more often and became more curious about the Word. I attended their fellowship for Bible study and started to learn more about God’s promise through different books. One book that particularly resonated with me was Ecclesiastes. I felt like the book spoke to my heart about how meaningless my life is when we put God out of the equation. I also learned more about God’s grace & the gospel from the scriptures, various sermons, and teachings in the church. At the same time, I also started to hang out more often with the church members. There were fun times, struggles, and even times when I was rebuked. I was slowly learning about my own brokenness & sin. I truly felt loved and saw them as my own family. However, before I got the chance to affirm my faith, I had to move here to California. I needed to settle in a church community that can also help me in affirming my faith, and that’s where I found Revive PCA. I met & talked to pastor SooSang here, who then helped me to piece everything together about the gospel. Throughout these years, I learned how Jesus has already loved me even when I was still a crappy person. Well, I am still a crappy person, but now I know that Jesus will continue to hold me fast.

I am grateful that the Holy Spirit has brought me to see again. To see that my life is not about self-gratification or pursuing happiness, but to serve and love God and others while also being joyful in that.

Done Running

by Jacob Kim

I was lucky enough to grow up in a Christian household with both my parents strong believers. I would go to the children’s ministry every Sunday starting kindergarten, which I enjoyed learning about the different Bible stories.

But as I got older starting middle school I slowly drifted away from God. I would completely forget about God, pushing him aside focusing on school friends and baseball. Then remember him on Sunday. I also neglected prayer, not praying every day like I had in the past. When I went to church I was there just to hangout with my friends. I didn’t pay much attention to the service because I already knew what the story was going to be about. But one Sunday around summer after 7th grade I encountered the Holy Spirit during worship and it stuck with me for the rest of the night. When I was in bed reflecting on the feeling that I felt a couple hours ago I told myself it was time to start taking my faith more seriously. It started with prayer. I started praying more but it wasn’t everyday. I would still forget about God but it was less frequent than before. I prayed that God would guide me in my faith. I was invited by Rachel to join the Kids Club prayer team which really helped me with praying more often. Even though I was praying more often, reading the Bible more, trying to love and help others, so I can become a good Christian. I didn’t give my life to him because I felt like I wasn’t good enough. So in 8th grade I was asked if I was ready to be confirmed. I said no because I wanted to be a good Christian who prayed more than once a day and read his Bible every day before getting confirmed. One sermon Pastor Soosang preached out of the book of Galatians. He preached about how work doesn’t save us, but it’s only faith in Christ who saves (yet we know that a person is not justified by works of the law but through faith in Jesus Christ, so we also have believed in Christ Jesus, in order to be justified by faith in Christ and not by works of the law, because by works of the law no one will be justified.) Galatians 2:16. That sermon stuck with me. As I went on with my life I tried to be “deserving” of God’s grace, but it was hard to be deserving of God’s love when I kept messing up. I would keep running away from God every time I messed up feeling too ashamed to pray to him. Until I was done running away I prayed and gave up on being perfect, realizing I would never be good enough for him.That no matter how much work I do, I could never save myself and only Jesus can save. So I surrendered my life to God. knowing he was the only way.

I know that God will love me no matter what and even when I stray he will be waiting for me with open arms. I also know that I have an amazing church community that will help me and pray for me whenever I am in need.

Not Just a Ticket — A Daily Walk

by Jonah Lee

My name is Jonah Lee and I’m a member of the Youth Group. I grew up in the church but it was more like a time to come and hang out with friends than about Christ. The lessons were interesting but I never really gave them much thought. I kind of assumed that “oh this tall [pastor] guy with glasses says its true, and he seems smart so its probably true”.

As I got older into age 12-13, I started to see church as more of a nuisance than not. It was far away since we moved and I would just end up fighting the urge to sleep. Plus I’ve heard these stories before why do I need to hear them again? An analogy I heard that was a great description of how I felt was by Mr. Moon. Christianity was like a ticket that I put into my back pocket so that when I die, I could pull it out and show God to enter heaven.

How I changed:

After I moved to San Ramon I had not many friends and it took me about 2 weeks to even talk to anyone(and that was just one dude) After some time I was encouraged to join clubs as a way to get to know more people. When I first joined my schools Christian club it was more for the sake of getting to know people with a similar interest rather than actually getting closer to God. However, I found myself heavily inspired by 2 people at the club, my science teacher who supervised and the club organizer named Noah. I soon became close to Noah and even today he helps me get closer to God and reminds me of him in school. At the same time many youth retreats were happening which gave me a lot of time to really have a deep reflection on what god really meant to me. I think the small breakout groups at retreats with people like paster Frank, Matt, Etc... and even church time at the conferences along with the school club really helped me want to actually know God. For the analogy it would be like not just having the ticket but using it everyday to get on the subway. I’d use it and not be afraid to tell anyone if they asked me, after all what was there to be ashamed of? Thats when I decided to choose Jesus as my ticket.

How it has changed my life:

I think a huge difference in my life now is my perspective of things. Whether it be the analogy with the glasses of me and thee or the analogy of who’s driving the car in your life, I now try to see things in a way Jesus might’ve thought. Even in everyday things or activities I find myself considering what Jesus would’ve done before making a decision. I find this sort of quick self check really helpful as it’s like having a guide that helps me chose the right decision. I also no longer have a fear to admit that I’m a Christian to others when I get asked. It used to be that I was afraid of getting judged or bullied like Christopher did but thanks to Noah and the school club I was more confident in telling people that I was a Christian. I think the blessings of Jesus as my savior is proof of my relationship that I will, from now on try to grow with the church. Thank You

A Small Step of Faith

by Amy Hernandez

everal years ago, in my first year of LOLMD, we put together some Christmas potpourri packages as a small gift of Christ’s love to our neighbors. My son Isaac helped me drop them off at five of the townhomes across from ours. These were neighbors I had prayed for on prayer walks, also something that was encouraged in LOLMD. Three of these five neighbors and I had not said more than an occasional hello in the 15 years we had lived here at that point. The three were all single older women. Two of them are widows. Though the intention was just to break the ice, I wasn’t expecting it to result in more than maybe a casual conversation sometime. The two widows responded with gifts in kind. I was grateful, but I started wondering if it had been a mistake, that I had now obligated them to return the favor. However, the Lord showed me that there was delight and love in their giving and the exchange could build a bond. We were able to exchange phone numbers, but we went back to the occasional greetings going to and from our homes.

The next Christmas, I baked some cookies for the neighbors. It was much appreciated by a couple of renters who had just moved in, but for the two widows, I learned that one was diabetic and the other could not eat that much dessert by herself. Oops! However, it did re-establish a connection, and both women invited me to stop by sometime to chat. I was praising God for the opening, but at the same time a little hesitant. I am often socially awkward and not particularly gifted in hospitality. I was also worried how much I could actually give to building up the relationships. I kept having doubts and finally just had to say, as we do in GLF, okay, Lord, I will take a small step of faith and see where it may lead.

What I thought would be just small introductions became impactful encounters for me. These two women had lived through so much. One of the two, whom I’ll call Ms. T., was the first female engineer and drafter at her company when she emigrated to the U.S. from Russia. She had survived the Siege of Leningrad during World War II that had killed 1.5 million people. She was only a toddler and was separated from her parents and placed in an orphanage but was miraculously reunited with her parents in a distant town years later. She showed me her artwork and shared some delicious Russian food with me. She also shared about her grief in losing both her husband and her only son within two years. There is much more that she shared about her 80+ years. We got onto the subject of war and then religion, and I shared a bit about my faith. She is Jewish. She gave me a curious look and said, let me ask you as Christian, what do you think of Jewish people? I did my best to answer lovingly, but I was not exactly prepared for it. Yet the Lord has always prepared us, through His love and the Spirit. Even if we don’t know exactly what to say, we can always love our neighbors and share what the Lord has done. I don’t think I said anything remotely profound that day, but by the Lord’s grace I could be sincere in my love for her. She was actually the one who opened her home and heart to me first. I really didn’t do much of anything, just asked about her life and listened (even though I’m not good at that, either, but the Lord gives us grace).

The other neighbor, whom I’ll call Ms. G. was similarly very open the first conversation I had with her. Her personal journey included the loss of two husbands, raising two children as a single mother, and at the time I had met her, she was partially blind and physically disabled. I saw a cross hanging by her door and asked her about it. She had not been to church in a while, but she was motivated to return. Over time, I just made myself available to help when she needed it and was intentional about listening well (again, neither being my strong suit). This last summer, I got to see her be baptized in our complex pool. The enemy was doing everything to keep it from happening, but the Lord was victorious, and it was a beautiful event to witness.

It’s strange (but not to the Lord), that this year I’ve been connected or reconnected with a few widows, a couple of whom lost their husbands rather young. I won’t share all their stories, but I honestly believe they have ministered to me more than I have to them. I may often considered myself “not the right person” for the job, but the Lord will cover it. We give even if not gifted in giving; we serve even if not gifted in serving; and we pray even if not gifted in praying. Using our gifts to build up the body and love others is the will of God, but even where we are weak, His power is perfected in our weakness and reliance on Him to do what He calls us to do.